WHEN three of us were invited to join a merry throng of foodies to eat at a farm which has earned itself a phenomenal reputation, we were pretty excited.

You know you are in for a treat when a top, trendy chef will be cooking for you food from a menu so diverse I was almost forced to turn to Google until one of my esteemed colleagues, who likes to think of himself as a bit of a Bourdain and was counting the days until our visit, was more than obliging.

"Salsify is a root vegetable belonging to the dandelion family, salsify is also known as the oyster plant because of its oyster taste when cooked. You haven't even pronounced it correctly, I thought you had culture," he trilled, ever-so annoyingly.

"You are more Bellamy than Bourdain," I retorted. "Look, you even have a giant beard, just like his."

That evening as I was trying to transform myself from farmer to fashionista, my colleague rang.

"Bate, I am in the off-licence. I will bring the drinks, what would you like?"

"Well I'd love some Krug Clos d'Ambonnay, but late nights and alcohol do not mix with early starts, so I'll have some elderflower instead and anyway you probably only have a fiver."

"Bate, when did you become so boring?"

An hour later, we were at the farmhouse, which was stunning. It is fashionable and therefore packed to the high rafters with extroverts. We ate on long banqueting tables among painters, and fashion designers, authors and grape growers tucking into food extraordinarily exquisite.

The next day Bellamy, who is well known among certain circles for his penny pinching ways, said: "What a brilliant night Bate. You owe me £2 for the elderflower."

Unbelievable.