SO SUBMERGED was I in a tin of, ahem, Farrow and Ball on Sunday, that I forgot all about the news.

I went to bed early clearly intoxicated by paint fumes.

“Have you heard?” asked my brother, laughing as he walked into the kitchen on Monday morning – he has come to visit as we have some Very Important Matters to attend to.

“Heard what, Will?”

“Cameron. He allegedly popped his privates somewhere very wrong.”

Dear reader, you are probably familiar with the tale and because this is a family newspaper, I will spare the details.

“That’s unbelievable. Shocking really, if it’s true.”

My mum looked up from the coffee pot.

“Well, these things happen at university.”

“Well I didn’t do anything like that,” said Will.

“Neither did I,” I exclaimed, thinking back on my tame three year stint.

The thing is, while this act, if true, its gross and probably illegal, it isn’t the worst thing Cameron has done.

Under the Coalition, students were forced to pay their own university fees, it introduced the bedroom tax and child poverty has risen to serious levels.

He has also abolished disability living allowance and, since May, he has cut tax credits, after promising he wouldn’t, which has made life harder for thousands of families in work and the living wage doesn’t even apply to those under 25.

So pig gate?

I am more concerned about what is going on right here, right now.

I mean, among the list of horrors, where would you really rank it?